- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
- People call at 9:00 p.m. and don't think it's strange to ask, "Did I wake you?"
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won't wear out!
- You can live without sex (but not your glasses).
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
- Your eyes won't get much worse.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends (because they can't remember them either).
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
This list reminds me of a quote from Rita Mae Brown, "One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory."
On another note, here's a pyramid of what success is at different ages in your life. Probably accurate for the average person.